There exists a lack of awareness in interpreting social cues; a skill that most of us take for granted. Given that inability, it can be extremely difficult for the family and friends of an Aspergers family member to cope with many of the behavior patterns typically exhibited. When this occurs, family members often then relate the behaviors of the newly-diagnosed youngster to that of the lifelong behavior patterns of a parent or spouse. This "Ah-ha" phenomenon is often accompanied by relief on the part of family members, but with it comes grief when the realization hits home that there is little likelihood of gross changes in the Aspergers adult.
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Kick off your shoes and stay awhile. If you are in a relationship with a man on the autism spectrum, you have probably noticed many of the traits listed below.
And the affected person often has little - or no - control over most of these symptoms. This post is not designed to blame or ridicule men on the spectrum, and it should be noted that they do have more strengths than weaknesses which we discuss a lot on this site.
But for the purposes of this post, we will focus on some of the features associated with AS that can negatively impact romantic relationships. Men with AS often have some of the following traits, but they will vary in both number and level of severity from person to person: A special interest e.
They will be passionate about it and often have an extensive collection of related items as well as incredible knowledge on the subject. Although AS males are often highly intelligent, they may have held down a menial job or drifted from job to job for years.
This stems from their problems with social skills and communication. An AS man may have a pet often a dog that he becomes quite attached to. The pet is a friend that does not place demands on the man and accepts him as he is.
AS males may seem set in their ways and can appear to be selfish or insensitive. They may speak without weighing how their words will affect others. AS men have been known to pass blame onto other people. In an effort to save face and protect their fragile self-esteem, these males may blame others for things that they should take responsibility for themselves.
Hot temperedness is not uncommon. AS men have been known to explode over relatively minor things e. Frustration is another trigger for hot tempers.
In a romantic relationship, the AS man may resist physical touch and public or private displays of affection. Males with AS have normally spent decades learning how to get by in life. Males with AS often have a reputation for being cranky and difficult.
People around them assume that they are simply ill-tempered or prefer their own company. Many AS males often desire friends, but may also be considered loners. Many AS men have learned to lie to help them cope with life.
For example, instead of admitting they are overwhelmed by noise, tired of being around people, or simply want to go and work on a favored interest, they may lie and say they feel sick or they have an appointment they need to get to.
Many males with AS do marry, but unless both partners are willing to work on problem areas, the relationship may not last.
Most AS males are not good at making small talk. They can focus on a subject that interests them and talk endlessly about it, but they may not fully understand the give-and-take of a shared conversation.
Most males with AS can find employment and are generally reliable workers. Sensory difficulties may mean that the AS man does not like seams in clothing or labels in shirts.
Hearing may also be affected, and he may dislike loud noises and certain music.
Also, crowds may be overwhelming, and he may avoid them all together. Sexual issues may arise if the AS male has not received an appropriate sex education earlier in life. In some cases, he may have learned about sex through watching porn on the Internet. Some AS males prefer to have a confirmed diagnosis, while others would rather carry on with life as they have in the past.The answer is ‘yes’ – but the adult’s meltdown-behavior looks a bit different than a child’s.
Under severe enough stress, any normally calm and collected individual may become “out . Cary Terra, M.A., LMFT Seattle, WA, United States I am a psychotherapist in private practice in Seattle, Washington.
I specialize in working with adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Recently I encountered a problem while collaborating with a group therapist with whom I share a patient. My patient has progressed quickly in therapy, as do many adults on the spectrum.
Affinity Support Affinity Support is a well established, award-winning service which provides support to people with learning disabilities, mental health conditions and tho whose with an acquired brain injury.
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The Lost Child: Invisible and Unheard. Posted by Louise Behiel in adult children, Louise Behiel, recovery, self help | comments. The third of the four roles is the Lost Child. Remember, in a family with an emotionally absent parent, the other parent is focused on the ‘missing’ one.